Encouragement
I have been very down recently. Too many things happened almost at the same time, and too many “coincidences” happened, which made me wonder if all these incidents were just a joke from “fate.” I started to think that maybe it’s all because of me. There’s no reason for me to believe that I deserve a peaceful life since I seemed to be the reason for my own distress. I started feeling pity for myself, and I looked for all kinds of excuses to blame for. I was so negative and hateful, and nothing seemed to be right or at least reasonable to me, nothing, at all. I hate myself, and I hate my life. I was like a beast looking for any possibility to hurt people, including me. I wanted someone to pay for my misery, and I wanted them to experience my pain. I felt that life was so not fair, and I wanted my “justice.” I was like a spoiled brat who thought I was a very important person and I deserve people’s respect. I “empowered” the dark side of me took over my mind, and all I could think of was to revenge and to prove that I could be somebody. I started showing my dark side of personality, and I was so angry most of the time. It feels like nothing can go right at this moment, and I am so alone.
After several days of “conversation” with myself, I started feeling calm. I have read so many articles and I decided to accept what happened. When life throws me a curve ball, I may not be able to catch it right away, but at least I can face it and figure out a better way to deal with the situation.
I am very lucky that I have never needed to worry where I can get my next meal. I have always had someone who cares about me and loves me, even though I tended to ignore this fact when I was down.
I want to cheer myself up through this post, and remind myself how lucky I am. Everything happens for a reason, and I need to be patient. When it comes to the right time, I will see the answer.
