fanny5

I wish I was a man, but it can never come true.

I was born in a family which man is more important than woman. I have two brothers, one is older and the other is younger than me. I am the middle child, and sadly, I am a girl. Being a middle child is already sad enough, but being a girl is the worst thing ever in this family.

When I was younger, I didn't notice too much difference between my parents' attitude towards boy and girl. When I was a student, I could still go aboard to study and I have finished two master degrees in USA. I thought, that must mean something!

Unfortunately, I was wrong.

I barely have any chance to speak in many family occasions, especially about family business. My parents only care about what my two brothers say, and ignore my opinion most of the time. Don't even mention any suggestion from me would never be accepted.

If any of my brother and I got into an argument or even a fight, it was ALWAYS my fault. My parents would ALWAYS take their side without listening to my reasons.

There are too many sad stories happened on me, and I chose to forgive, because I only wish they (my parents) can love me as much as they do to my brothers. But it had never happened.

I was sad most of the time when talking about my family. I was angry, mad, and felt unloved, or even worse, unwanted, in this family. Sometimes I even wish I was never born here.

I hate my younger brother, who once hurt me violently when I was in college. I hate him and wish him die. I became an evil person and cursed my own brother. Even after so many years, I still hate him. Sometimes I hate my mother who empowered him and spoiled him. If he disappeared in this world, I would probably be the first one open a bottle of Champagne to celebrate.

So sad, and so helpless.

Anyway, tonight is just a mind record. I will still move on tomorrow. Good night.